Monday, November 12, 2007


Well, on the nursing front, not a lot has changed. In fact, on Thursday, I decided to hang up the burp rag, as it were. I spent that day and the next pretty much mourning the end of the nursing efforts. It was a very hard decision, but I really felt like I was at the end of my rope. However, by Sunday I was already starting to wonder if there was still hope.

I met with a lactation consultant last week who had told me as long as I have milk, it's not too late. I kept thinking about that over the weekend, but didn't want to get my hopes up. I still don't want to get them up. But something about quitting gave me me a bit of freedom. I am no longer reporting to the pediatric nurse every week, and I feel I have the freedom to try without any expectations. It's hard to explain, but there's releif in knowing I don't have to report any success or lack there of to anyone but me. It's just between me and Caleb now. We still haven't turned the corner, but I feel like I can finally see the corner out ahead of us on the horizon. It is possible.

Caleb began smiling during his fourth week, which absolutely melts my heart. In fact, he even smiled for his daddy during a webcamming session last night! I was so happy to share that with Tommy. He also began rolling over from his belly to his back unassisted today! Very exciting stuff!

The dogs are doing well with him. I don't know if I've blogged about it yet, but Zeus started having seizures the week I brought Caleb home. It's absolutely terrifying and heart breaking, but because they are happening so infrequently (Thank God!) the vet did not recommend medicating him at this point. Hopefully they will continue to be infrequent...or just disappear! He's only had three so far. It's just so awful to be able to do nothing to help him. I hate it.

Tommy should be home in about a month. Because of the hard time I've been having with nursing, mom decided to stay a little longer. YAY! She was scheduled to leave December 5th, but now she'll be leaving on Christmas Eve. I'm so grateful for her support. I don't know what I'd do without her. Now she'll get to spend Christmas with both of her grandsons! :)

I'm doing well. I have my final post-partum check up this week, which makes me kind of sad. I LOVE the OB/GYN clinic here, and I hate that after months and months of regular care I'm now spit back to Family Practice. It was nice to be so well looked after during my pregnancy.

Emotionally, the last five and a half weeks have been a roller coaster. As overjoyed as I am to have Caleb, it's also very overwhelming. The nursing issues have made me a real mess more than once. I thought pregnancy hormones were difficult! Boy, they are nothing compared to post-partum hormones! That is one cocktail of crazy sauce!

Anyway, I'm feeling more and more like myself every day, and I'm loving this little booger more and more. I'm so happy he's here, and I can't wait to share him with my husband! :)

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